Whoops, long time no post. Unfortunately I don’t have the time or energy for a nice, verbose post so have a bunch of pictures with little to no explanation! Not many projects to round up despite the time between posts – mostly boring cleanup work happening. Hopefully gardening stuff starts soon!
A lot of slime-making and playdough making were done and as per the requirement I made some playdough roses…
While decluttering yarn I used some to make some very uhhh boho??? weird art/branch wall decor.
As per holiday tradition, a wreath was foraged for and made but this year’s was just….not good.
Over the holidays we had some tree removals in the backyard to clean and open things up a bit. Also scored a big pile of wood chips which went right back to that spot! Then Elika and I got to learn the joys of chopping wood with a toddler who wants to be underfoot. I also learned, belatedly, that one should keep in mind that heartwood looks a lot like rot if cut crosswise and you aren’t expecting it. Whoops…sorry tree…though you were dying in other ways. 😦
As part of the house chaos we finally decided to live wild and free and make our too-soft mattress not too soft by ripping the latex part off the foam part. WHICH left us with a ton of bed foam no one wanted to buy so I cut it in half (Elika LOVED THAT) and we made a “couch” out of it for our new TV/den since the TV was moved out of the living room for MAXIMUM TODDLER PLAY.
There were some holes in Elika’s blanket so I decided to try impromptu ad hoc embroidery for the first time, it didn’t go great BUT HEY.
Then after some cleanup (more still to come it never ends) it was time to do something with pruned branches. One project was a pea/bean tent/trellace which will be planted VERY SOON (I’m running late on peas whoops) and I’m really excited and hopeful it’ll be a fun place for Elika come summer.
The final project for this go-around is this living woven willow fence I JUST finished – I’m hoping I wasn’t too late for it to root and I’m scared and excited to see how it works out! The birds absolutely LOVE it which I somehow wasn’t anticipating so early. Almost every morning I look out and there’s some new bird species perched on it that I haven’t seen in my yard, and of course countless of the “regulars” who greatly approve.
After 18 months with cloth diapers I sold our set this last weekend. We officially said goodbye to them while Devin was on a work trip – Elika had only been using them at night, long car rides, and when “requested” for a few months. She had started saying she needed the potty over and over at night just to get the diaper off and I finally said to her,
“Do you want to be done with diapers? Should we get rid of them?” *EMPHATIC YES* “If we get rid of diapers then we can’t drink milk all night long.” *THINK, STILL YES*
Honestly I don’t think she believed me about the night weaning since we’ve tried that three? four? times before and it hasn’t lasted more than a week or two. Regardless, I got a bag and started putting her cloth diapers and inserts in. Suddenly IT WAS REAL and she was scurrying about helping me put them all in the bag. I told her I would be taking them out of the house now, but she INSISTED on helping and was excessively excited after.
The definition of “fully potty trained” is a child who is capable of manipulating their clothing and using the potty independently. That is still a long ways off, she’s only now learning to push down her pants and still doesn’t verbalize or sign anything consistently when she needs to use the potty. Of course within a couple days of this decision things got challenging and I wasn’t sure we had made the right choice but now after a couple of weeks I can see how much it has accelerated her learning. Our progression had stalled out, she would be (generally) good about going to the potty at home if she was pants-less, and good if we were out in public, but if she had pants/undies on at home she didn’t seem to think it was worth trying to communicate if she needed to pee. Part of our discussion getting rid of diapers was that she would need to start wearing pants and undies consistently now, if she was big enough to not need diapers then she was big enough to wear her pants and undies. She immediately started working on communicating better and trying to get her pants off. Now, a week or two later, she can get her pants almost all the way off and back her bottom up to her little potty, a huge leap. Granted, she also is highly motivated to learn how to take off her clothes so she can go back to her blissful naked existence.
We’re still using some padded training undies for nighttime and “high risk” engagements where I really don’t want to have to explain why my kiddo isn’t wearing a diaper if some leaks happen or something. I still have to deal with some of my own “accident anxiety” but for the most part it just forces me to be diligent about offering a potty opportunity and communicate with Elika about our plans and bathroom availability.
I won’t lie, this journey through elimination communication has had its definite ups and downs. I’m sure if you had asked me at some times I would’ve told you the frustrating and work of it all wasn’t worth it. Looking back at our journey so far I see that likely all the challenging emotions would’ve still been there – differently perhaps – and also prolonged or delayed until whenever we ended up focusing on potty training. It hasn’t been the easy road. But it has been a worthwhile road for us. Elika has always, since she was a week old, known she was able to communicate with us about needing to use the potty and that we understood and would attend to her needs. She knew that she was in control at the beginning to some degree and has gotten to practice exerting that control more and more as her muscles gained strength and her bladder size increased. We’ve definitely done some things wrong, but every time I go into a public restroom and she uses the toilet, toilet paper, flushes, and washes her hands there is a joy of accomplishment that she experiences and I love seeing her capabilities.
It’s been a while and honestly I have not had very many or very successful woodworking projects. BUT sometimes that is life!
Here are the couple I’ve wrangled up, huge flaws and all.
Toddler Wardrobe Rack
This project went so well! Too well! Alas even if you measure thrice you can still screw things up and have to redo stuff and try to patch up holes. This went from a super easy, barely an inconvenience project that looked simple but good to a big ol’ mess. However it’s still good enough for a toddler who can’t notice! Plus Elika had a real blast helping me with this one.
This lumber was all on hand – the dowel repurposed from a wooden baby gym I had made that’s now outgrown, and the lumber extra from our various other projects.
Horizontal Dowel Toy
I didn’t make this for months because it didn’t seem different enough from the vertical dowel toy I made last time. However it took almost no time to throw together and was shockingly engaging right away so now I regret not doing it earlier! I literally just grabbed some cured scraps of birch, willow, and scrap lumber in my garage.
The discs to slide on are toys we already have in our stash, the red from a wooden bolt/construction set, and the wooden rings are extras from a wooden baby gym I made.
“Sandpaper” Peg Board Numbers
This is an experiment that I’ll probably redo. Montessori is all about tactile letters and numbers so they usually provide cards with “sandpaper” or rough material on the characters so kids can feel them or trace them. They also often have these peg boards so kids can associate the character of a number with the concrete concept of physical item quantity. I love both those ideas so I wanted to combine them!
I decided to run an experiment with some lumber scraps and free-handed the numbers which went about as well as expected (spoilers: not well). I decided to try out some embossing powder since I have a lot of old stuff on hand, and use some 3/8″ “wood table pins” I got from Woodpeckers Crafts for the purpose.
I’m going to let Elika try them out for a while before finalizing the design for my ultimate version. She definitely likes putting the pins in, though curiously she likes to do so upside down?
Cylinder “Puzzle”
I have no idea what to call this but there are cylinder puzzles in progressive difficulty in Montessori that I keep eyeing. Instead I picked up three “2-3/8″ Dad” pieces from Woodpeckers Crafts (I’m not sponsored, seriously, but I wish I was!) and grabbed more cured birch scraps from the garage. Way too much dremeling later, I ended up with this, though I imagine I’ll alter it and/or repurpose the parts in the future!
Unfortunately my circle puzzle (start of which was in last post) didn’t pan out as apparently the coping saw I got from Harbor Freight doesn’t work as a coping saw should so I was unable to cut out the circles. Color me sad and disappointed to say the least.
Well short, sweet, and incredibly simple this go around! To be fair though, these projects will probably give me a better time return on investment since they were so easy!
EDIT:
I was playing around and remembered – the simpler the toy, the more creative one often gets with it!
We don’t need a handful of people doing zero waste perfectly.We need millions doing it imperfectly.
Anne Marie Bonneau
The above is an oft-quoted phrase to the point of almost being cliché, but I find it both encouraging and motivating. As I have said in other posts, I struggle with perfectionism which means I can fall into the defeatist trap of thinking “what’s the point in trying if I can’t do zero waste?” and also the self-righteous trap of “wow everyone else isn’t even trying.” So in the interest of trying to curb those, here’s a disclaimer.
Disclaimer: I am not trying to virtue signal or participate in moral grandstanding with this series of posts. I am real bad at living right, and this is my attempt to share my experience. I understand that it’s a privilege to be able to choose products that are packaged less wastefully or made more sustainably because that is cost prohibitive to some. I also know that at least in my experience, it’s HARD to figure some of this out, which companies are preying on people’s good intentions and which ones are legit. I have struggled to find help for reducing packaging waste in a gluten-free and low fodmap diet because frustratingly those diets seem to cause more packaging waste. So long story long, I hope this helps or encourages someone as that is the intent.
The Grocery Experiment
The first step in my recent sustainable living effort was to go to the grocery store and TRY (and I do mean TRY) to buy things that were packaged in low or no plastic. This was a bit eye-opening if I’m honest. I definitely challenge everyone to walk into a store, look around, and just TAKE IT IN because wow. I quickly discovered there are just simply some things I cannot buy at my usual grocery store without plastic. Cauliflower? Always in plastic. Lettuce? Plastic. Carrots & spinach? Almost always in plastic (sometimes they stock them separately). So for some things I compromise and for others I don’t. In general I try to follow the rule of “if there’s a non-plastic option, take it!” This means I usually only have one option, and it’s usually much more expensive. However I’ve also found that the things we get that are more expensive we value more and they taste SO much better.
I also found that I feel better about what’s in my cart – the first few times I imagined it wasn’t dissimilar to what my grandmother or great grandmother would be getting if/when they shopped for groceries. A lot of fresh produce, dry goods in bulk, high quality splurges in glass, and canned goods.
The first half of the grocery store (pictured) always goes better than the latter half (milk/dairy/frozen).
There are so many more ways we personally could cut more plastic from our grocery situation but this is what I’ve learned so far!
Examples of wins we’ve fallen in love with:
Bob’s Red Mill 25 lb Gluten Free 1 to 1 Baking Flour: for me, finding gluten free baking options that aren’t drenched in plastic is REAL hard. Fortunately I happened across this 25 lb bag of gluten free flour carried in the bulk section in PAPER! Seriously might’ve yelped in joy when I found it. We have a chest freezer so I keep the extra in there.
Happy Day 25 lb Organic Oats: Unfortunately for those who are celiac or other allergies this isn’t an option as it’s manufactured in a facility that packages other allergens but for us it works and I am SO happy. Oats are a really “dirty” crop (lots of herbicide used) so I was desperately wanting to get organic but was finding it really hard to source. These again are packaged in paper (at least last time I got them) and also the company is dedicated to a “buy one and we donate one” type mission which is a nice bonus.
Martinelli’s Apple Cider (Glass): We’ve always done sparkling cider for crazy situations, but when I went to get juice and discovered my options were all in plastic, I happened upon Martinelli’s non-sparkling option. It comes in a GORGEOUS glass bottle (that I use as mini emergency/backup waters in the car), and it is very yummy.
Portland Organic Ketchup: This feels like a hipster buy but again, glass bottle option! It has become a family favorite however. It’s also local so that’s a nice bonus.
Oui by Yoplait: I think the grocery store had just started stocking this yogurt when I started this challenge and SUPRISE it’s the only yogurt in glass. Apparently it’s because it “helps maintain the yogurt’s integrity and enables the yogurt to stabilize without the use of added cornstarch or gelatin.” Who knew! I thought it was just to be fancy and smart. This stuff is so delicious it’s upsetting (and so is the price).
Meal Prep Containers: So these particular ones have plastic lids but they’re what we have and what you own is better than buying things new (even if it’s a sustainable product! Thus why Reduce/Refuse is the first in the “Three R’s”). BUT whenever possible I use these to freeze meat (or store leftovers/meals) so that we do not have to use ziplock bags whenever possible. Also need to keep testing but I got some butcher paper (unlined) that I’ve used a couple times as a test to freeze meat – it seemed to work fine for a short freeze (1-2 weeks was my test). I’ve thought about trying ZipTop reusable storage bags but haven’t been able to justify the purchase yet.
Bolga Market Basket: So coming right off the “couldn’t justify it,” I bought a bolga market basket from Ghana because it brought me joy. Was it sustainable to ship it from, you know, Ghana? NOPE. But almost every time I go to the grocery store someone says “that’s a beautiful basket” and I agree. I take joy in knowing someone handcrafted it, I was able to help them feed their family, and now everywhere I shop others can enjoy its beauty with me. PLUS I just put the whole basket on the conveyer belt at the grocery store and it makes it SO easy for me and the clerks seem to be okay with it too.
Better Than Bouillon: There are definitely canned chicken stocks but I don’t know if the grocery store doesn’t carry them or I just can never find them. Regardless, Better Than Bouillon is in glass and has been really nice to have on hand.
Coombs Maple Syrup (glass): We were already buying Coombs but now I exclusively buy the glass jar (I just have to close my eyes sometimes). This is one of our subs for honey sometimes because honey unfortunately is high fodmap/trigger for IBS (so is basically any fruit, wah) but a small amount of maple syrup has been fine.
Canned goods: Seriously just, canned goods are low-key unsung heroes (or at least that’s how I’m viewing them with my current understanding). They are great emergency food/waste reduction, they’re recyclable, they’re generally fairly reasonable price-wise, and they make great toddler toys. The one thing we have a challenge with is forgetting half used cans in the fridge so now as a rule I put any leftover canned goods in mason jars which let us easily see how much is left (and what it is, which our reusable wraps often obscure).
Trying to buy in-season, local, & exploring new foods: I hate trying new foods if I’m being honest, especially with the insane Venn diagram of food considerations. HOWEVER, I’m learning to love it and be more accepting of things I don’t think “taste” good. As with listening to a song, the more you try it the more your brain likes it, I suppose it’s a strengthening the neural pathways situation. Plus it feels weird to have a toddler who is super adventurous with food when I’m not, so I’m trying to be a good model (or follow her good example).
Foraging! The kiddo has helped me see food everywhere. She expects plants to be edible (because our yard is primarily edible or fruit-bearing plants) so when we’re out on walks or at the park she’s constantly looking for something yummy. We ate dandelions this year, recently collected a whole ton of filbert/hazelnuts at the park, have an alley apple tree we go to, and hit up an old farm orchard/now park to get fruit when I finally remembered it existed. I fully expect this to be a huge part of our future going forward! Check out https://fallingfruit.org/ if you haven’t ever, it’s very cool.
Beeswax wraps: I know a lot of people hate these and I used to as well, but the ones I made myself seem to be much more effective – probably because I used a lot more of the wax/oil/resin mixture. They also REALLY cannot be washed in anything but cold water, and so in my opinion their use is limited. However I made one that’s sort-of a sandwich holder or “pocket” and that is SO NICE for cheese.
Reusable produce bags: I got some mesh produce bags (in hindsight would’ve gone with a natural material but it is what I have) that I’ve been using for years and years and they’re fabulous. I also started using a sturdy cotton utility bag for potatoes since bulk potatoes come in plastic mesh (cry) and that is really refreshing to use.
Farm resale stand: there’s a stand within biking distance that isn’t technically a farmer’s stand (they get their produce from all over, including far away) but it’s close enough to bike to (or a very short drive) and is really great for getting a few things to snack on. There’s something lovely about not having to do a big commute and being able to shop in the fresh outdoor air.
Examples of places we could improve:
Oat milk: so I desperately love Silk’s oat milk but it comes in cartons that are not recyclable in our city. I want to make my own since I’ve sourced organic/plastic-free oats but unfortunately I have not succeeded in replicating their delicious concoction. If anyone has pro tips, please let me know!
Meat: I have gone to the local butcher a couple times to get meat but I’m spineless and haven’t asked them if they’ll wrap it in the butcher paper sans the protective thin plastic wrap they do first. Technically still less plastic than the supermarket BUT yeah.
Growing our own food: We always have a garden but it’s never been a fabulous year. It seems like every year I either don’t plant something we always eat or plant something we never eat. Or I plant something I think we’ll eat and don’t. I should share more things too, preserve them, and actually use the things we’ve preserved.
Food waste is still a thing for us, and I know it’ll never be zero but we’re really working on being better about what’s in our kitchen, using it, and eating it. We are good about composting (or feeding to the dog), but without chickens or pigs it’s just really unfortunate still.
I desperately need to learn to can things. I meant to do it last year and this year but didn’t get to it with covid/baby situation.
I’ve wanted to make some sort of cold cellar situation for many years and I’m not sure it’s in the cards, but I want to figure out how to store things like winter squashes and potatoes better so they can be purchased at harvest and kept for a few months.
Eating out: we’re really good about this generally but since having a kiddo it’s become much harder to resist. That being said, we try to go places that generally have more sustainable to-go packaging.
Hashbrowns/frozen goods: we go through a LOT of hashbrowns and unfortunately that means plastic packaging. I really want to be able to get fresh potatoes and process them for hashbrowns ourselves but we just haven’t had/made the time. The same with other frozen goods, I should be doing u-pick and freezing them myself in sustainable packaging.
Meat: in general we just need to eat so much less meat, but also because of the aforementioned issue with meat being a huge contributor to our personal plastic situation.
Things that just make me sad:
Pre-covid I was getting away with bringing little paper bags (the type with a tin tie at the top like bulk coffee) for all the bulk stuff instead of using their plastic bags. I LOVED THIS because I could write the number and name on the front of the bag and it was all so much more secure. Even the checkout clerks commented on how much they liked it. Unfortunately with covid they got a lot more serious about enforcing the policy about no outside containers. I’ve gotten mixed information from this particular grocery store about WHY, the sign at the store says it’s because they can’t do tare (so maybe I can try my paper bags again) but the online customer service said it was because of a food code. Either way, I haven’t found a store here that does sustainable bulk packaging. (I would LOVE a glass jar exchange with grease pens or paper bags!)
When something looks like it’s packaged sustainably and then inside it’s actually in plastic.
That so many bulk-packaged vegetables and fruits are in non-biodegradable packaging.
That it’s so much cheaper to buy plastic-packaged items.
How we used to package so many things in recyclable materials (like glass) and now we don’t. In fact, I feel like we’ve FORGOTTEN how to package things without plastic. We literally remove fruit from its God-made beautiful biodegradable packaging and then wrap it in plastic. (Or we just wrap fruit in plastic ANYWAY.)
I definitely should’ve ordered this differently so I didn’t end with the downer list, but I hope this post overall has been helpful, encouraging, and made you think about your own food spending habits!
I would love to hear what things you do/don’t value when buying food or any strategies for reducing food-related waste that you’ve discovered. Thanks for reading!
I respect a lot about the Montessori method of teaching which according to Google can be summed up as “based on self-directed activity, hands-on learning and collaborative play.” Being homeschooled by a mother who I consider to be one of the best teachers bar none, I think I got to experience a smattering of many educational models which is something I hope to provide my child as well.
I had been just loading up the living room shelves with miscellaneous toys but realized that the number of options was causing her to be overwhelmed and unable to pick something, so our independent play progress was suffering. Honestly this is something I think I need to readjust again, I read somewhere that eight activities was right for this age (almost 15 months) but I genuinely find it to be a lot.
The other thing was that I was trying to do you rotations and getting frustrated because I wasn’t sure what to pull out and put away, everything felt like a weird amalgam of mismatching junk. So I decided you know what, it’s time to do weekly themes which I’m calling “unit studies” for this purpose.
Deciding to do unit studies has been a huge relief. It gives me an outlet for my overactive curriculum development brain, helps me focus on what activities to pursue, and gets me to pay attention to what topics Elika is really interested in, despite my interest in the topic.
I’ve only been doing this a couple weeks but I wanted to share some of the things we’ve done!
Theme: Beach/Ocean
My husband had the week off and wanted to go to the beach so it seemed like a great first focus!
This was the first shelf setup attempt:
As you can see it’s pretty rough but you’ve got to start somewhere. I went to the children’s resale shop where I have store credit in the hopes of finding ocean-themed stuff and I did find these stamps! I treated it like a puzzle and it was definitely too much for her at the moment but we had fun naming the items and matching them with the cards in the basket also pictured.
Not that Elika was into books (except eating them) but we had themed books! I also got some from the library, my personal favorite was Sea Creatures Swim. Baby Beluga is also cute and we picked that up on our aquarium trip.
Treasure basket of things found at the beach! Alas our beach trip only yielded the crab carapace but fortunately I had some stuff gathered from previous visits.
Also featuring sea otter puppet and penguin stuffie, the latter was an aquarium acquired friend.
I didn’t really have any ocean themed activities she could do solo because I threw this all together quickly, the ones on the shelf not featured are her shape stacker and object permanence box/ball.
The outing associated with this was obviously going to the beach, the aquarium, and as a bonus one other day we visited Petco’s fish section so I’m counting it.
Theme: Farm Animals/Fair
The county fair was on so what better opportunity than to feature farm animals!
As you can see I officially kicked the video game basket off the shelf and decided this is now designated Elika space. She would constantly pull that basket off and strew video game cases around and it was just counterproductive for both of us.
I thought I was sooo smart putting books on top, but that did not work out, especially once library books were added whose physical well-being I want to ensure. The books now sit on the fireplace mantel and hilariously now that they’re “forbidden” Elika is constantly asking to be read to, and she’s only allowed one book at a time.
The activities (left/right, top/bottom): treasure basket of farm animal toys, farm animal puzzle, beanie baby horse, her basket of blocks, wooden horse pull toy (locally made), diy stacker toy, diy posting activity (oatmeal container with cutout/silicone beads), padlock/key.
DIY posting activity:
The first time I introduced this it kept her busy for at least half an hour. It hasn’t held quite that power but it is definitely a keeper. I saw a posting activity with a basket or can and popsicle sticks – I tried that and by the second stick she just grabbed them all and put them all in at once. So clearly we needed to move on to something more challenging!
I already talked about this DIY stacker in my woodworking projects post but wanted to include a picture here since it isn’t very visible in the shelf picture.
I read that you should put up pictures at toddler height so I did that with photos of me and my various farm animals through the years…she ripped them down in two minutes flat so if anyone has cool tips for keeping those on the wall that doesn’t involve plastic let me know.
For our outing we took a couple of the animal toys I figured we could “match” at the fair (aka breeds I figured would be there) and that was really fun for me at least!
Found the matching Hampshire!
Overall this week went better but I still wanted to more closely incorporate the theme into the activities. She did spend a LOT of time playing with her animal toys though, so she’s definitely my child.
Favorite book of the theme: Can You Say It, Too? Moo! Moo!
Theme: Vehicles
I’m not into vehicles at all but Elika kept being super into the cars at the church nursery so I finally gave in and got some car toys at a local garage sale and attempted a vehicles themed week.
Again I ran into the issue of what activities I have that can be related? If I had more foresight I would’ve made one of those wooden “car ramp racer” towers but I definitely did not think of that. On the plus side I assume I’ll be doing all these themes again as she gets older so this run is basically helping me get ideas for supplies to get for the future!
Activities (left/right, top/bottom): car driving toy, treasure basket of pull back cars, wooden block basket, shape sorter with only three shapes (usually in the tray but apparently we hadn’t reset it), puzzle with vehicle pictures, cash register.
At this point I’m loosely trying to follow the guideline of easiest on the upper left, hardest on the bottom right, with everything roughly sorted in-between with exceptions for things I feel need to be on the bottom shelf for safety or ease of her taking of the shelf unassisted.
Not pictured is a black-eyed pea pouring activity – I have a little metal steamer pitcher from St. Vinny’s that I fill with dried peas and then let her work on pouring them into a bowl. It’s rather hit or miss – she can be extremely careful or she can pour them all over the floor for the fun of it.
I talked about this puzzle in the woodworking post as well but vehicles featured car, train, tractor, and airplane.
I don’t actually think we had an outing related to this, technically. Whoops! We did go IN the car quite a bit, and in the bike trailer, so unofficial outings. I didn’t take a picture of all the many library books we got about vehicles but my personal favorite is The Little Dump Truck.
While the activities were pretty meh we got a ton of enjoyment out of the cars! We raced them, made them go down the pikler slide, had the animals ride on them, napped with them – you name it!
We also watched a video on fire engines and ambulances.
Theme: Health/Body
After our fair trip we got awfully sick and I decided to do an impromptu health and body week theme in the hopes of working on things like hand washing!
Some changes to the shelf plan: certain toys despite the theme are just ones she gets a lot of enjoyment out of like the animals and the cars. So those are going to live on the top of the shelf for now, we’ll see if they get moved to her room later.
Activities: teeth brushing/flossing, body part cards, blocks, hairbrushes treasure basket, hygiene puzzle, book, posting activity (not pictured).
Elika is not very stoked about brushing her teeth so I wanted to get something she could practice on (that isn’t me). She loves playing with this tooth model if nothing else! This hasn’t become an independent activity (yet) but every day I’ve been trying to demonstrate on the model and let her try to brush the model teeth. The floss is fun because she’s very into opening containers right now so she’s learned how to open the lid.
Unfortunately our sinks are really unfriendly to Elika being able to wash her hands so I set up this handwashing station for her to practice. Pouring the water in the bowl, using the soap, rinsing, wiping. We’ve done it once or twice and her verdict is it’s not as much fun as playing in the dog water. But she’s starting to get the hand motions for rubbing with the soap so progress!
There are some matching cards on Etsy that I just LOVE but are also $40+ so I realized I could buy some birch squares and make my own! They are meant for our upcoming bird week but I figured I’d practice with this week since I couldn’t think of any good activities.
Puzzle featuring tooth brushing, hair brushing, hand washing, and nail trimming. Devin kicked off the week by trimming Elika’s nails – while she was AWAKE!
Elika has also put it upon herself to start emptying and exploring all the bathroom drawers and cabinets so lots of impromptu activities there – she was putting foundation on with a brush before bed tonight. We have been doing a lot of sunscreen practice since swim lessons started and her interest in that is what made me think she really would be interested in this theme!
We went ahead and made it a family theme too, she helped me wash our dog, cut/Dremel his nails, and groom him today.
Favorite book so far (we’re only halfway through the week): All About Me!
Wrap up
Well my phone (which is what I’ve been blogging on) cannot handle the size of this post so I’m going to wrap it up – if I manage to stay on top of blogging I’ll do one post for each week. I’ve got some exciting themes coming up so I’m jazzed. If you have any theme suggestions or activities I’d love to hear them!
I have “completed” a bunch of projects since my last post and have meant to do posts for each but honestly I’m not sure when I’ll have the time so I figured I’d just do a roundup of all the things I made, things I ultimately decided would be better bought, and things I hope to make soon.
Pikler Slide & Climbing Ramp
Originally I was going to make the pikler triangle itself but after pricing out materials last winter I decided it would actually be cheaper to buy it. Unfortunately no local used ones so the cheapest at the time was from the Etsy store Kidodido. When it came to the slide however, I had an extra couple boards from previous projects and some cured birch branches from yard pruning so I decided to throw it together one afternoon! I decided to add a little rail because I wanted something for her to grip and also a smidge of anti-falling-off protection which has the added benefit of helping this double as a ramp for rolling cars and balls down too. Apparently I didn’t really take any in-progress pictures, probably because of chaotic child wrangling while putting it together.
In all I’m pretty happy with how it turned out, it seems sturdy, it was pretty easy, and it hooks onto the bars with the side rails. That’s actually why I added them, I forgot! I wasn’t a fan of the way most purchased ramps attach, it doesn’t seem particularly secure to me, so I opted to use a drill and Dremel (the tools I happen to have) to create a nice pikler rod sized “hook” in my side rail. I also used the side rail to secure my branches for the ramp side – in case this is not obvious from the pictures this is a reversible thing, one side ramp the other side climber.
Toilet Stairs
As I’ve talked about on this blog, we practice elimination communication with our kiddo (loosely). We hit a wall a couple months back where she didn’t want to wear diapers but also didn’t want to sit on any of her mini potties, seat reducer, etc. It was getting really frustrating for all of us, and I realized she needed more autonomy and more structure (if that sounds like an oxymoron welcome to my world). As such I threw together some little steps so she could get on the seat reducer by herself, all while cursing our inaccessible toileting designs under my breath. I’m not going to say this project was a complete failure, but it is extremely flawed. This project was scrap wood again and Elika and I were having a lot of friction that day – needless to say it was a rough time and project. I want to remake it but haven’t had time and then recently Elika decided to go back to mini potties so the priority has been lowered.
This project actually promoted the desire to start making plans of these things I’m making as someone in the EC community said they’d pay for them and I realized heck I’d love to do that, especially with a focus on basic/hand tools only projects since most of the ones I look at require thousands of dollars in equipment I don’t have. I’m sure there are lots of parents out there like me who would love to make things but either live in a small space, don’t have the budget for fancy tools, or their kid won’t let them use power tools without crying because of the noise. That or want to be underfoot! All reasons why I’ve switched to a handsaw – it’s definitely been a workout at times!
Anyway, I’d love to start making plans and selling them for a couple bucks but that’s unfortunately not feasible at the moment. I’m hoping to prioritize it when things start making sense in life again!
Wooden Ring Stacker Toy & Simple Threading Activity
I decided I wanted a slightly more challenging stacker toy and again, scrap wood and some dowels we had (I finally ran out) came to the rescue! Cured birch cuttings again and some willow I had pruned and kept around from spring. For the threading “needle” I whittled down the end of a dowel and then dremeled it to be round. Not particularly happy with the string attachment but I’ll probably revisit that once the kiddo is more ready for threading activities.
This project was really fun because it was quick, easy, Elika was really involved in helping (I have video of her using the handsaw at 14 mo!), and I just find it really aesthetically pleasing on the shelf. I also played with it quite a lot, and Elika seems pretty into it as well so a lot of bang for our buck!
Interlude
Before we move on to things I opted to buy please enjoy these pictures of the lumber store adventure. The purpose of this trip was for lumber to support a mattress – I guess I forgot about this project but because of life changes I converted our king mattress frame into a twin frame – and hauling lumber with a car seat has not gotten any less sketchy. But hey, I’m trying!
Picnic Table
You can tell I didn’t make this! Honestly there is no way I could’ve made this anywhere near the quality or the cost of what we got it for. Big splurge for us but we’ve been using it constantly and love it!
Shape Knob Puzzle
I keep wanting to make a shape puzzle and actually started one but decided to splurge on this from Kaplan. This is way pricier than basically all other shape puzzles but the cool part of it is that you can slide paper in which means I can swap out the images every week for our unit studies. I love it so far! But of course somehow one of the pieces has already gone missing. SIGH. Upside of wood: it’s gorgeous. Downside of wood: it blends into everything. Hopefully the toddler didn’t throw it in the trash can and we’ll find it soon. Until them I have an ugly stand-in cardboard piece I hastily crafted.
Next Projects?
I’m too lazy to talk about each of these individually so I’m just going to dump a gallery of things I’d like to make but we’ll see!
The two in progress pictures are the mud kitchen which will probably need to be scrapped and restarted because the lumber was reclaimed from something we ripped out of our garage and it just didn’t turn out well, and the circle puzzle which is not going well due to a crappy coping saw I got from Harbor Freight and need to try and return.
The rest are things I’ve discovered and like the looks of but am debating about if I want to make vs. buy vs. decide against entirely.
I’m here to say that Christians need to stop hiding their struggles.
I’m not talking about getting cancer, finding a job, or difficulty sharing their faith.
I’m talking about the struggles everyone pretends they don’t have. I’m talking about marriage problems. Being angry at God. Even wrestling with God himself.
I get it. If we shared THOSE, we’d be seen as “unspiritual” by our fellow Christians. In fact, they’d probably judge us for having those struggles.*
You know who tried to conceal their struggles in order to “save face” and not have their fellow believers judge them? Ananias and Sapphira. In the process they lied to God by pretending to be more generous than they were and died because of it.
I don’t think God will strike you dead for concealing your struggles. But I do think you’re cursing yourself.
“Alright, but marriage troubles are private and nobody’s business.”
Are divorces private? You know, I think if young Christian couples knew HOW MUCH STRUGGLE there was and is to maintain that relationship 20, 30, 40+ years there wouldn’t be so many marriages falling apart. If the older generations were open about the struggles they faced young people wouldn’t be as surprised by them or have false expectations that it will always be smooth sailing. I also think they wouldn’t be so tight-lipped about the struggles they DO encounter. And I don’t think this JUST benefits young couples either. Marriage, like life, goes through stages, and if you think it’s just you experiencing a period of struggle – and everyone else is having great sex, making perfect family memories, and generally having A Perfect Life – you’re more likely to throw up your hands and say “IT’S NOT WORTH IT.”
I started this post four and a half years ago and now I’m picking it up again. I’m picking it up because I apparently was preaching to my future self. So here I am. I’m a Christian. I believe Jesus the Messiah, God, Creator of the Universe came to Earth and died for the whole world so that His blood could fill the unmendable wound that our collective rejection of Him cleaved into every single human heart. He died for me, a thing He made and could make again. A thing broken, imperfect, but someone He loves so deeply He experienced the worst thing we know of to someday make me perfect in His full presence. Despite all that, I didn’t want to be alive a couple weeks ago. I struggle with depression. Marriage has never been harder than it is right now. I get angry at my adorable tiny kid. I struggle in every way I shouldn’t.
But that’s the thing about God. He doesn’t care how much you screw up, or how badly, or how many temper tantrums you throw. The phrase, “God won’t give you more than you can handle,” is both rubbish and unscriptural. God DOES give you more than you can handle, and that’s because He wants to handle it FOR you. Are you not enough? Unworthy? A serial failure? Absolute garbage? Great! Because that leaves room for God to go beyond your comprehension of enough, for God’s worthiness to stand in for you, for God to show you that success here doesn’t equal success in eternity, and to refine your garbage into gems.
I’ve always struggled with false humility in church, the one where it seems like you have to completely wreck your self esteem to be a good Christian. I think if we’re being honest with ourselves we don’t need to do that. There’s something inside each of us that’s deeply broken. We don’t need to make up broken bits, they’re there somewhere. Church just seems to have a list of ones that are “okay” to admit and ones that get that “yikes” response that makes you never want to share anything ever again.
I love Paul in 1 Timothy 1:15 where he says, “Jesus came into the world to save sinners of whom I am chief.” Paul struggled with perfectionism so bad he literally is the perfect sinner, #1 in the history of the world according to him. I genuinely don’t think Paul is exaggerating in his understanding. I think he’s just accepted his HUGE WEAKNESS of being 100% imperfect and a braggart and God works through that mightily. “For he said, ‘My grace is enough for you, for my power is brought to perfection in weakness.’ Therefore, I am very happy to boast about my weaknesses, in order that the Messiah’s power will rest upon me. Yes, I am well pleased with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and difficulties endured on behalf of the Messiah; for it is when I am weak that I am strong.”
I’m not saying to brag about the ways you are struggling (though maybe Paul is?). But I’m also saying that we, myself foremost because I want to appear to have my life together, do ourselves a huge disservice by hiding our weaknesses and struggles. Not just to ourselves. To every other Christian. To all our non-believing friends. To the world. By denying our weaknesses exist we are depriving ourselves and all creation of God’s power made perfect.
Do I struggle? Absolutely. With the smallest things. Am I weak? Entirely. But I’m here to tell you I wouldn’t have it any other way because the weaker I am the more powerfully He is within me – IF I acknowledge my weakness to Him and let Him work.
If you feel weak or worthless right now, congratulations. You are on the cusp of experiencing God’s unfathomable power. You might want to give up. I know I do sometimes. God sees you. He knows you. He wants to be your strength. There is no one too lost or low for Him. It won’t be easy. He doesn’t fix everything that feels wrong. You won’t agree with everything He wants to do. You will still get angry at Him about things you don’t understand. He will always be there for you. He will always sit with you in the darkness. He desperately wants you to reach out to Him and ask Him to change your life. He’s listening. Talk to Him.
If you want someone to witness your weakness, I’m always here to listen to your brags. Seriously. You are worth so much to God, you were literally to die for. *cue pun groaning* Also if you ever want to help empower me I’ve got a long list of weaknesses to brag about.
* Okay but full confession I definitely do struggle with judging Jacob for literally wrestling with God and demanding a blessing. But God was into it I guess and blessed him (though Jacob didn’t get out unscathed I suppose) so I think the moral is firmly in the “if you need to wrestle with God you better wrestle with God” camp.
Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be— you get a fresh start, your slate’s wiped clean.
Count yourself lucky— God holds nothing against you and you’re holding nothing back from him.
When I kept it all inside, my bones turned to powder, my words became daylong groans.
The pressure never let up; all the juices of my life dried up.
Then I let it all out; I said, “I’ll come clean about my failures to God.”
Suddenly the pressure was gone— my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared.
These things add up. Every one of us needs to pray; when all hell breaks loose and the dam bursts we’ll be on high ground, untouched.
A while ago I tweeted that I needed to write a blog post with all my expectations vs. reality of pregnancy and post-partum before I forget. So this is my attempt.
Pregnancy
Expectation: PFFT I’m going to stay so active during pregnancy! I don’t need to change my life at all!
Reality: Bedridden for months, puked over 100 times (usually while on extreme prescriptions to PREVENT puking).
Childbirth
Expectation: I’m going to wait till the LAST POSSIBLE MINUTE to go to the hospital.
Reality: I was miserable and getting anxious about not feeling as much movement from Elika. We technically were only there for about 4.5 hrs before her birth but I was only 4cm when we finally got checked after arriving.
Expectation: I’ll DEFINITELY want to be moving around during labor.
Reality: Nope. I laid down, didn’t move, and pretended to be dead. My doula implied I couldn’t possibly be fully dilated and needed to move around. I watched a Youtube video where a lady talked about her homebirth and said she labors laying down in bed, and seems asleep to others, and thought “that seems like my jam.” Turns out it was. Downside is no one seems to think you’re doing any work. Upside is afterwards everyone compliments you on how amazingly chill you were.
Expectation: I’m gonna be SO MEAN to Devin. This is going to bring out the absolute monster in me.
Reality: I told Devin, “quiet, please” once and that’s as bad as it got. So that’s comforting.
Expectation: no one at the hospital will read my birth plan and everything will be a huge fight.
Reality: I had a very uncomplicated birth BUT ALSO everyone in the room seemed to know all the details of my birth plan AND tell us at several points what our options were and confirm what we wanted. Giving birth was probably the best healthcare experience I’ve had (which is both horrifying and refreshing haha).
Post-partum
Expectation: the hospital stay will let me relax, recharge, and get some sleep. (This is what I was told!)
Reality: So I feel bad complaining about the hospital because overall it was great. Restful though, it was NOT. I’d feed Elika, get her back into the bassinet, attempt to fall asleep, and the nurse would come in to ask me if I had fed her and take a bunch of readings. Every two hours this happened. I think I managed to sleep for 40 minutes once, that’s it. Then 16 hrs after she was born we had to start changing her diapers. Which is a weird complaint but it also leads into the next one…
Expectation: the hospital will show us how to do the essential things like change a diaper and swaddle her.
Reality: I mean, I think they showed Devin how to swaddle her. They gave us a piece of paper that you could check what you wanted to learn. I checked it all (it is me) because the nurse we had said she’d go over it all anyway. The nurse who ended up being there (the previous one had to leave) acted like we were insane to have checked all the boxes and got us a DVD to watch. I think it was made 20+ years ago and no, it didn’t help.
Expectation: I would never bedshare. I’m a rule-follower, I will follow the SIDS rules to the letter.
Reality: Elika would NOT sleep on her own the first night back. Whether or not we were bedsharing did not even factor in at that point, my brain just went instinctual and she stayed at my breast while I curled around her (it’s called the “cuddle curl”). I’m not recommending this, but there was SO MUCH FEAR cultivated in me about bedsharing/co-sleeping that I had immense shame and guilt over it. Fun fact, I later read two or three books by pediatricians and they ALL said bedsharing/co-sleeping is a reality for some, and to follow the safe co-sleeping guidelines. Side note: I desperately wish I had been aware of side-cars because that would’ve been a great solution while still giving us some peace of mind I think.
Expectation: The first month will be the hardest. After that it’ll get easier and easier.
Reality: After the first month came the second month. We ran out of freezer meals, my health issues escalated, Elika was fussier, I was more exhausted, the hormones were wearing off, she still needed to be held at all times, I couldn’t get anything done, and everything was so much harder. I felt like a failure. Then I felt unsupported. What is most likely post-partum anxiety/depression hit me HARD around month three or four.
Expectation: sleep training will definitely be a thing we do and our sleep deprivation will be maybe three months.
Reality: babies are hardwired to want to be touching their caretakers. It helps them regulate their breathing and temperature. Based on a study done there are babies who are “soothers” and babies who are “signalers.” The first batch chill themselves out if they discover they’ve been abandoned, I presume to not alert predators to their predicament. The latter deem this situation too dire to tolerate and scream until rescued (or eaten by a predator I suppose in another time). Of course back in the day (I think the ’70s?) when this study was done people read it and classically went “oh so we have to teach them to self soothe” which spoilers is not at all what the study was saying. Anyway long story long sleep is highly variable, little supported, and if you have a signaler and are uncomfortable with teaching them their cries for help will not be responded to you’re going to have a bad time because our first world societal structures have veered so far from tribal living that natural is seen as unnatural. No judgement to sleep training because people have to live in the lives they were born into but I wish I had known it wasn’t simple, babies are all different, and like a lot of adults some have an exceptionally hard time with sleep.
Expectation: there is no way I will “lose my identity” I have a ton of friends and hobbies that have nothing to do with motherhood.
Reality: even when I try to socialize I’m either off from the group tending to Elika or so brain dead/exhausted that I can’t form sentences. It has been the singularly most isolating experience of my life and I was completely blindsided. My hobbies have no time and when I do them 99% of the time it turns into another baby/house/necessary project and/or are interrupted which I mentally cannot handle constant interruptions (and a lot of my hobbies like soapmaking literally cannot have interruptions).
Expectation: I’m going to have a horrible time with the pediatrician I didn’t really get to pick out.
Reality: while doctors continue to be a lot less helpful than I expect and want I genuinely love our pediatrician and she is a joy to see. I am SO thankful for this!
Expectation: babies love books it’s part of every nighttime routine every baby loves books, BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS.
Reality: Elika has absolutely had zero interest in books unless they’re being eaten or tossed around or ripped. So all my recently weekly library trips were just super pointless HOWEVER we may have finally hit a breakthrough this week (almost 15 months). So I guess the reality is babies love books if you literally force them to like books and they finally give up and embrace it. Then they will ask to read the books over and over but only one page each probably.
This list truly could go on and on and I’m sure I’ve forgotten a million and one things. I love being a mom and it’s way harder than I expected. My special blend of personality flaws makes it extra challenging I think. But this kiddo brings me SUCH joy and makes me laugh at the dumbest things.
Elika wants to be involved in EVERYTHING so it became very clear that we needed a stool for her in the kitchen. I was just going to buy one (they’re called learning towers, mother’s helper stools, kitchen helper, etc.) but they’re EXPENSIVE! So I did what I usually do and found a video of someone making one with better tools/skills/etc.
If you’re interested in making one, here’s the option I started with:
…and then I promptly went off the rails.
As usual my first mistake is probably not buying the plans though in my defense the real issue came when the lumber store didn’t have the correct lumber sizes.
Also, if you’re unaware, having a car seat makes getting lumber very difficult, so don’t do what I did.
So instead of 2x1s for the legs I ended up with 4x1s and had to use 3×1 instead of 2×1 for the rungs as well.
Thus the mad scribblings began.
Due to the fact that I only really am able to work on projects when the kiddo is around and awake, and because I’ve been watching a lot of Grandpa Amu, I used a hand saw for nearly all of the cuts on this project. Which makes me want better hand saws to say the least. Then again I am also extra proud of the curved top despite its imperfections, because boy-howdy using that hand saw to do it was kinda rough. Though not as rough as the jigsaw we have YEESH. Literally harder to cut it with our jigsaw I have no idea why.
At some point I realized oh hey the issue with having wide legs is that I can’t screw into them from the other side to attach the braces. This was…problematic for me. I then decided to engage in a futile attempt to be skilled and create pegs (some dowels we had slid and glued into holes drilled into the two pieces) to secure them. Unfortunately this was close enough to be aggravating but not close enough to work so I ended up (mostly) scrapping it. I also realized that you need clamps (yet again) or at least more than one hand (or two really) because holding baby and trying to slide several pegs into things is just a recipe for disaster.
This picture is a metaphor for my life: “Trying to put it together but despite my intense efforts it’s literally falling apart due to lack of hands.”
After considering scrapping the whole thing, I decided I would just do it the quick and dirty way because heck, Elika isn’t going to know any better and she’s just gonna get food stuff all over it anyway.
So the ugly wooden braces were born. This project is a huge mess if I’m being honest. Things aren’t straight or flush (partially due to the failed peg experiment), I got tired of baby crying while measuring where the screws should go so they’re every which way, I used pocket screws because it’s all I had and now realize how pocket screws are different (they have a raised head so aren’t flush), it might be kinda challenging for her to crawl up in there by herself like the original plans, and I left too much space in my platform so it’s a bit wonky.
The upside is it’s DONE, I won’t be crushed when it gets stained up, it’s pretty dang sturdy (and heavy whoops), it has four different heights for the future, the thicker sides means (I think) I won’t have to add feet like the original since it shouldn’t be as tippable, I only paid $30.60 for lumber (and I still have a little left over), and Elika loves it. (Though I definitely should’ve made it a bit shorter, it’s high enough she can basically crawl onto the counter and table WHOOPS.)
VanBow 